Men find it easy to compartmentalize. It’s helpful when you are in crisis or simply need to focus on the job at hand. But when it comes to matters of the heart, compartmentalizing your life works against you. It fragments and divides what should feel seamless and whole. This is nowhere more apparent than in our approach to prayer.
A common issue men come to me with is a general feeling of disconnection from God. They may have some kind of habit of daily prayer and Bible reading, but as soon as that ends, it’s back to business as usual. Prayer feels more like a task or something to check off the list. It seems to have little connection with work or family life or even the back-yard barbecue.
My work as a spiritual director is all about helping men invite Jesus into every part of their lives. One of the ways I do this is by sharing ways of praying that allow this to happen naturally. Here are four.
1. Move from closed-loop to open loop thinking
Closed-loop thinking is the conversation with have with ourselves. Our inner chatter is often incessant and always to ourselves. We are thinking in a closed-loop that only reinforces wrong attitudes and beliefs. Our own inner critic falls under this category as well.
Where is God in all of this? The answer is nowhere.
Open-loop thinking is the opposite. It is opening it up to God Himself. It’s turning your inner dialogue into a conversation. It can be as simple as talking to Him while brushing your teeth or fixing your lunch.
Open-loop thinking best begins with a question: Jesus, what do you think about this? How do you feel about this? When you ask a question, you invite a response and a conversation. What happens can be so surprising…and life-giving.
2. Visualize Jesus with you.
The promise of Scripture is clear. God is with us. But what we know to be true can feel light-years apart from what we experience. Here is where our imagination can help.
At any time of the day, just stop for a few minutes and picture Jesus with you. He already is already, but visualizing Him allows you to access that truth for yourself. Notice what happens to yourself when you do this. Again, the results can be surprising…and beautiful.
Another way to do this is to take a few moments at the beginning of the day and picture Jesus with you as your walk through your day’s schedule. Doing it beforehand can make it easier to sense Him presence in real time.
3. Carry a physical reminder.
Find something that is meaningful to you or represents your relationship with God. The simpler the better. It can be a special stone or a cross. I know of men who have used things in nature like an acorn. You can even ask the Lord to help you find something that would connect you to Him.
Carry it around in your pocket or place it where you are working as a physical reminder of His presence with you. Keep touching or looking at it as your go through your day. See what happens as you do this.
4. Set a prayer bell.
For some men, this is especially helpful. Set your phone or another device to alert you at certain times through the day. It could be on the hour or at your meals or at break-times. You decide when and how often.
When you hear the alert go off, stop and talk to Jesus about whatever is on your mind. This doesn’t have to be long. Two or three minutes can be enough to reset your mind and heart back on to His presence.
A final word
Try one of these ways for a week and see what happens. However your proceed, do not, I repeat, do not judge yourself for lapses in prayer. This never helps and further disconnects you from God. Just gently return to Him in prayer.
He is always delighting in you when you turn to Him, hopeful that you will continue to open your heart to Him and find Him good beyond your craziest dreams. It’s what any good father desires with his son.
For the next post, I will describe more ways to pray through your day. Stay tuned!
Bill
Photo by Rahmi Aksöz: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-praying-at-dawn-7902981/
