I have never met a man who doesn’t want to be a warrior, even if he believes he could never be one. It’s written into our DNA. It’s how we see life and operate even if we never think about the word warrior. We want something to fight for that gives our lives purpose. We want something to move us to action and engagement. The stories and movies men gravitate toward often picture the warrior at work.
But the warrior idea gets so easily twisted into our own fallen drive for power, fame, or achievement. We end just fighting for own advancement.
Somewhere along the way, if we are listening to God at all, we begin to realize that we are to be a different type of warrior. A warrior of love. It is the type of warrior Jesus lived. He fought and died for others out of love at every possible level.
We also need new weapons for this war. Swords and guns are no use here. Truth, Scripture, prayer are all good weapons, but play?
Yes, play.
We think we left all that in childhood. But I want to suggest that it’s time to pick it back up again. Play is not just about games and activities. It’s a way of being in the world.
Here are three reasons why play is a good weapon in the war of love.
Reason 1: Play only happens when we feel safe.
Kids are only free to play when they feel emotionally and physically safe. When fear enters, they suddenly stop, withdraw, or look for protection.
When you live in fear, you can’t be playful. The fear could be about rejection, money, shame, failure, the future. It doesn’t matter. You will start analyzing, self-protecting. You will stop thinking about others.
When you fear, you can’t love. Our brains just works that way.
But when you feel safe with yourself, God, and others, you are free to enter the world of love. You are also free to play.
Reason 2: Play makes us curious.
When we enter the arena of play, there is a spontaneity to everything. We are become open to new possibilities. We are caught up in the moment of play and not thinking about how we appear or how we are succeeding. And we are then free to be curious.
Being curious with someone is one of the most powerful ways to love. It’s not about power or getting your point across. You are interested in someone. You want to understand them. You want to hear them.
And so you ask questions, lots of questions. You find connection points. And you laugh—sometimes a lot.
It’s saying, “You are worth knowing and worth my time.” It is love in action.
Reason 3: Play opens the space to be vulnerable.
When you are engaging in play, you can’t be self-protective. Once you go on the defensive, the sense of play ends. Something else is happening, but it’s not play.
Playing asks us to be vulnerable, to open ourselves to others. It asks us to enjoy the moment with others, not to get somewhere with an agenda.
To play is to love the time with others simply because you delight in being with them. Think about what good fathers do with their kids. The playfulness of a father is his way of engaging and enjoying their company. It’s saying, “There is no where else I would rather be than here with you.” This is one of the best descriptors of love I know.
Becoming playful again
There is so much in this world to fear. But Jesus told us not to give into that. He is literally here with us and invites us into the world of love. He wants us to be warriors of love like He was. And one of our best weapons is play.
Why is play so powerful? Evil knows how to fight and retaliate, but is completely undone by play. It has no idea what to do with it.
Playfulness can happen in a golf game or in a conversation around the fire. It can happen on a hike or around the dinner table. It can happen in a game of tag or in a walk in the neighborhood. It’s a way of being in the world, confident that God is always present and always up to something.
Want to become more playful? It’s a conversation I have had a number of times with men. Take five minutes of silence and ask Jesus: “Lord, I have so much fear. How can I become playful again?” Then be still and listen.
Or try this. When you know you are entering a situation that causes fear in you, ask Jesus, like a boy would, “Jesus, can you come play with me?” Then watch what happens.
Want to hear more? Contact me.
Photo by Lukas: https://www.pexels.com/photo/children-playing-on-inflatable-castle-296308/
