Why Self-Hatred Is Such A Deadly Peril

“To hate oneself is to walk alongside oneself.” Leanne Payne There are those who will openly admit to hating themselves, but for many it comes up in more subtle ways. It may be a dislike of your name, or a jealousy over the life of another, or something about your appearance that displeases you, or […]

The Revolution Continues: The Immanuel Truth

Always, no matter the circumstances, we have the assurance of “Immanuel,” which simply means “God with us.” Philip Yancey In the previous post, I talked about taking part in the revolution that Jesus started. We participate by praying in God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. In this post, I want to share […]

Want To Start A Revolution? Try 14 Words.

We hear the word revolution, and we first think of something like the American Revolution. My first image of this is the famous painting above of Washington crossing the Delaware River. But the revolution I am referring to is different, one that starts with individual lives. I’ve seen the revolution. I’ve tasted it. And I […]

Invite Your Sexual Self To Be Your Friend

Of all the topics I have discussed with men, this one is the most fraught with tension and peril. We all have a story of sexual formation, and that story for every man I have ever known is littered with shame and confusion. Mine is no different. This topic can become even more problematic once […]

Your Sexuality Is Not A Curse (and two of its blessings)

I don’t need to tell you that the confusion about gender today is historic. The volume of competing voices is overwhelming. Young men and women caught in the vortex of these voices are left with few moorings and less hope. The confusion it creates casts a dark shadow over an already confusing world. As a […]

The Long, Insidious War Against Your Masculinity

The signs of this war are all around us. Here are a few of them: This is just a sampling of some of the stats I have seen about men. You get the point. Why cite depressing stats? To be jolted awake. It’s too easy to fall asleep to the war around us — the […]

Three Things You Need for 2025

Resolutions. Goals. Yes, there are some positive things about looking ahead and seeing what you want to change in the new year. But I want to come at 2025 from another angle, not resolutions or goals, but needs. In my spiritual direction work, I find these three needs universal, yet many men are unaware of […]

How Sexuality and Spirituality Connect

I have had thousands of conversations with men about their spirituality. A man’s spirituality is simply his experience of God. I have not had quite as many, but certainly hundreds of conversations with men about their sexuality. A man’s sexuality is simply his experience of himself as masculine and sexual. But as a spiritual director, […]

Moving Faith from the Head to the Heart

One of the most common struggles that men come to me with for spiritual direction is the divide they feel between their head and heart. It comes up in a hundred different ways, but the gist of it is this: They know something about God, maybe a lot, but they don’t experience Him in their […]

Three Causes of Spiritual Dryness

There are times when connecting with God comes easily. And then there are those times when the connection grows weak or just cuts off. As a spiritual director, men come to see me because they are in a season of spiritual dryness and confused about how to proceed. How to do that all depends on […]